Don't Give Up!

Success does not mean never giving up.  It means always finding a  reason to start a new beginning. 

All of us, at some point or other give up.  In our head (or maybe out loud) ,  there is a sad defeated *Sigh* and the thought 'I give up'  drops in.  It might be for a day a week, a minute or even just a fleeting second.  But at some point, we all experience that "I give up" feeling.  And it's okay.  I think it's normal.  It's good to vent your frustrations, to let them out and not bury them inside.  But it's even more important to keep finding a reason for a new beginning. 

I gave up.  I did or didn't do ________.  But this is Labor Day weekend.  Which means Tuesday is a new beginning.  How many things start 'The day after Labor Day'?  It's a new beginning.  Or maybe October 1st.  It's the first day of a new month.  Maybe every Sunday is a new beginning.  Maybe Monday.  Maybe Friday because it's the beginning of the weekend.  Maybe...it's the middle of an unremarkable day and your new beginning is just a random point in the day.  The point is to seize those new beginnings.  Enjoy them.  Pat yourself on the back for finding them, for starting anew, and for not letting the 'I give up' feeling to linger and defeat you.

New beginnings are fun.  They are exciting.  They are motivating.  Why wait for January 1st or some other far away time to start over?  Find a reason to start a new beginning today and do it!

Note: I had this post written, and stumbled upon the quote below posted by @monicaricci on Twitter.  I love when perfectly timed things like that happen!

 "You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, 

for this thing that we call 'failure' is not the falling down, but the staying down."

~Mary Pickford
1893-1979, 

Actress and Producer

What are you waiting for?  Start now!

Finding Gratitude Even Through Utter Frustration

 You know what they say, 'When life gives you lemons....'

I am in the middle of a MAJOR life lesson right now.  I'm learning a lot about how little control we really often have. Although we like to think we're the ones running things, that control is so often just an illusion.  We cannot control rude or dangerous drivers, although we might yell or honk in an attempt to do so.  We cannot control other people, situations, the world or a loved one making a poor choice. We might think we can somehow control these things, and even spend large amounts of time and energy worrying about them, playing out scenario after scenario in our heads in an attempt to gain control.  But ultimately, the only things we really control are ourselves, and our reactions to things.

This life lesson is teaching me to accept what I cannot control, and to instead focus my energy on myself and how I react.  I want to react to things with kindness and compassion; with gratitude and patience; with thanksgiving and with love. We cannot control the world, but we can seek to have a grateful heart.  Gratitude is not an illusion.  We can look for gratitude, even in the midst of the most utterly frustrating experiences. 

I am grateful 

For everyday, taken-for-granted kinds of things:

~for health -for this body of mine, with it's aches & pains, issues, and extra pounds

~for family- a nearby loving and supportive network

~for freedoms and liberties in this country I love

~for friends without whom life would be boring and dull

For overflowing abundances:

~of God's love

~of blessings too numerous to count

~of simple joys, like sweet bedtime kisses or 'just because' hugs

For constant, unshakeable blessings:

~my wonderful, handsome husband and sons

~my brothers and sisters, by both blood and marriage, living near or far.

~my beautiful, imperfect home and gardens

For first world conveniences that would be third world wonders:

~freshly brewed morning coffee where others thirst simply for clean water

~a home with running water where others go homeless and unwashed

~a refrigerator stocked full of food where others go hungry

Most of all, I am grateful that I have been given so much, because with this abundance comes the opportunity to share it with others, and share the blessings.

I am grateful.

Focus for the Week

Do you ever wish there was just someone to tell you,  "I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for"?

There is.  And He also says, "When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I'll listen. When you come looking for me, you'll find me. Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed."

My focus for this week?  God's plans...not my own.

I took the above verses from The Message.  You might have heard it or be more familiar with it like this:

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. 

“They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. 

12 In those days when you pray, I will listen. 

13 If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. 

~Jeremiah 29:11-13 (New Living Translation)

May you have a blessed week!

Letting Them Know

I found this HERE and wanted to share.  Yes, it's one of those emails that goes around, but it's a good one.  It's a wonderful way to EMBRACE life and bless others:

I’m not sure if the story is true, but either way – it has meaning… Many people do care about you just as you care about them. Maybe it’s time to let them know…

Here’s the story:

One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name.  Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down. It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers.  That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual.

On Monday she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. ‘Really?’ she heard whispered. ‘I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!’ and, ‘I didn’t know others liked me so much,’ were most of the comments.  No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn’t matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on.

Several years later, one of the students was killed in Vietnam and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student. She had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. He looked so handsome, so mature.  The church was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a last walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last one to bless the coffin.  As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to her. ‘Were you Mark’s math teacher?’ he asked. She nodded: ‘yes.’ Then he said: ‘Mark talked about you a lot.’

After the funeral, most of Mark’s former classmates went together to a luncheon. Mark’s mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak with his teacher.  ‘We want to show you something,’ his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket ‘They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it.’  Opening the bill fold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times.. The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Mark’s classmates had said about him.  ‘Thank you so much for doing that,’ Mark’s mother said. ‘As you can see, Mark treasured it.’

All of Mark’s former classmates started to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, ‘I still have my list. It’s in the top drawer of my desk at home.’

Chuck’s wife said, ‘Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album.’

‘I have mine too,’ Marilyn said. ‘It’s in my diary’

Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. ‘I carry this with me at all times,’ Vicki said and without batting an eyelash, she continued: ‘I think we all saved our lists’

That’s when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again.

The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will end one day. And we don’t know when that one day will be.

So please, tell the people you love and care for, that they are special and important. Tell them, before it is too late.

Remember, you reap what you sow. What you put into the lives of others comes back into your own.

Have you taken the time lately to let people know the nice things you think about them?  Commented on a blog lately that inspires you?  Thanked the store clerk for being so helpful?  Told your pastor how much you enjoyed the sermon this week? 

Here's a challenge for you.  

When you find yourself thinking something nice about someone, LET THEM KNOW!  In person, in an email, a letter, or even a blog comment or tweet.  Pass the nice-ness around, and watch it come back to you...

Embracing Life...Cherish Even THIS Moment

Awhile back, my friend, SomeGirl, posted about the purpose of her blog.  She has a very clear vision and purpose, and it fits wonderfully with her blog.  (That's the point of having a purpose statement, right?)  She made me think about this blog of mine,  (she's always making me think, and I love her for it...)  and the only thing I could think of in my purpose for it is that it's for me  to whine to think about how I'm trying to balance things in my life so that the important things keep from getting neglected.  I don't want it to be all about me.  I want it to have a larger purpose, and I hope that something from it helps someone else out somewhere along the way.  But I've been at a loss as to figuring out just how to do that.

Until this weekend, that is.  Several things all happened that helped me realize what I really want this blog to focus on. (And I started to write out all the details, but it was just going to be waaaayyyy to long for you to read, assuming anyone is reading, right?  So, I'll just skip to the point.  If you really care to know the details, I'll be happy to share them, just ask.) 

I want this to be about EMBRACING LIFE.  Cherishing each and every moment, no matter how big or small, awesome or awful.  Yes, even THIS moment, when my kids are screaming at each other, and making an awful mess, and getting-on-my-very-last-nerve.  THAT moment is as important as all the good ones.   Because it's the not-so-great moments that show us the true beauty and miracles of the great moments.  

Life can end, or change radically, in an instant...

for me, for you, or for someone we love. 

Life is a gift.  

Don't waste it.

.

How To Feel Defeated

Have you ever had one of those days where you're just rolling along, having a normal, happy day, when suddenly WHAM!  Something slaps ya down and leaves ya feeling completely defeated?  Hopeless.  Crushed.  Beat down.  Does that ever happen to you?  No?  Well, let me give you some quick and easy tips on how to let yourself feel defeated.  It's easy.   (Warning, don't try all of these at once!  Maybe just one or two at a time...  Or, maybe hopefully, none at all! )

How to Feel Defeated:

#1  Don't get enough sleep.  Make sure that you are always just dragging along, barely making it through your day.  This makes it really easy for that feeling of defeat to just sneak up on you and knock you down.  Any little set back will do it.

#2 Don't manage your stress.  Sweep things that bother you under the rug and pretend you're not worrying about them.  Ignore them and let them all pile up on you as long as possible.

#3 Never EVER ask for help.  Don't ever let anyone know that something is bothering you.  They might do something wacky and awesome like help you out, or cheer you up, or my favorite.... PRAY for you!

#4 Keep as much chaos in your life as possible.  Keep a pile of clutter on the table (or counter top) at all times.  Make sure you never have enough laundry clean or put away.  Randomly put your car keys, glasses, or cell phone down in different places, so that you always struggle to find them.  Never, ever, ever file your important papers in any kind of organized fashion.

#5 Spend every waking minute taking care of someone other than yourself.   Put your children, husband, family, friends, neighbors, dog, postal carrier and bank teller first.   If you have time to take care of yourself, you obviously haven't worked hard enough to find someone else who needs your help more!

#6 Keep people at a distance, and avoid keeping a close circle of friends at all costs. Friends will lift you up, not help you to feel defeated.  Keep as far away as you can from anything that even resembles a friendship. 

#7 Talk negatively to yourself in your head all day long.  Tell yourself how horrible you look in that bathing suit.  Remind yourself what a stupid mistake that was that you made yesterday (or last week).  Talk to yourself even worse more harshly than you would talk to your worst enemy.

Okay, as I said in the little warning above, doing none of these things would be best!  Obviously, I don't want you to do any of these awful things to yourself.  This is my tongue in cheek reminder to myself to not let that moment of feeling defeated take over.  I had one of those today, you know.  I know, you're shocked.  You'd never have guessed, right?  It was related to a certain four year old that I'm madly in love with, but who is having certain issues that fall in the TMI category.  So, after, another blankety blank blank accident incident, I just felt completely defeated. And I tweeted it.  (The feeling defeated, not the TMI...)  Within moments, my super awesome, can't wait to meet her in real life, twitter friend tweeted this back to me:

Fear not!  

Whatever it is, I'm sure it's going to get better. 

#prayingforyou

JamieAnne, you have no idea how much better that tweet made me feel!  It made me cry. (I'm tearing up now writing about it.)  How wonderful is it that we can make friends and support each other, across time and space, without having ever met?  Pretty neat, I think.  Thank you!

Just one more note, and then I'll be done, I promise.  About #7, talking badly to yourself?  I read this post earlier today, "You Are Much More Than Your Bathing Suit".   Appropriately, it was right before I headed out to the pool for the first time this season.  Let me tell you, this lady has the right idea, the right attitude.  There is always a positive way to look at something.  It sometimes takes awhile to figure out what that might be, but it's there.  Look for it.  Search for it.  

Don't give up until you figure out what the positive is, and use it to crush the negatives into submission. 

Balance Defined

 I've been looking for balance for a good long while now.  Some days are better than others, of course, but I'm always trying to get closer to finding that balance.  Other people are looking for balance too.  I've even seen some posts on Twitter and other blogs about seeking "anti-balance".  That stopped me in my tracks.  Why on earth, I wondered, would a person want to live an anti-balanced life?

Well, if you know me, you know that just made me defensive about my search for balance, so I went to check more into it. What I found was very thought provoking.  It made me realize that not everyone defines balance in the same way.  Huh.  Never occurred to me that there could be more than one way to view the idea of finding balance in your life.  It made me think more about what exactly I mean when I say I'm on a quest for balance.  

For me, balance is not equal time for every aspect of my life.  It's absolutely not possible.  But what I am seeking, is to combine all the little things and big things together, so that at the end of the day everything is in harmony, everything is balanced.

The picture I have in my head is of a great teeter-totter.  On one side is the person that I believe God wants me to be, and on the other side are all the little things and big things in my life, added together, trying to achieve balance.  Not enough of something let's that side go up and let's God down.  Too much of something else weighs that side down, weighs me down, so that all the blessings God is giving me can't be fully enjoyed.  It's not a quest for equality in all areas, but more like a grand recipe of time & effort that ultimately seeks to equal out and balance with what my life is intended to be.  Five minutes of quick kitchen clean up added to half an hour of bedtime stories and snuggling.  Throw in an hour or two of paperwork, a little menu planning and prepping/cooking dinner, some time to workout and take care of my body, time spent with my husband.  All of those things are interconnected, and touched by one another.  In seeking balance, I am seeking to find a way to mesh them all together to the best result, so that no one thing is getting neglected, and everything is getting not equal time, but the time that it needs and deserves.

Just as all things do not need or deserve equal time, not all days are the same.  Some days the mom part of the equation needs to take the largest share of my time, and the paperwork and cleaning have to wait.  Other days, I'm not needed so much as a mom, and I can give the housework and job the attention they need.  Each day is interconnected with the next... trying to achieve overall balance and live the life God intends me to.

How about you?  How do you look for or define balance in your life?

May you have a blessed, balanced, and thoughtful day!

If you're curious about the anti-balance thing, do a twitter search for the hashtag #antibalance.  And, by the way, I think we're aiming for the same results, but just looking at it differently.

Food for Thought

Happiness comes with the achievement of little goals. With little tiny steps that you take every single day, you'll have a little accomplishment that will teach you a different reality. I'm telling you right now, that you have everything that it takes to achieve anything that you want. And it will not be easy, but it will be WORTH IT.

-Jillian Michaels