Practice, Practice, Practice

One of the things that I need needed to change in my life, like so many other people, is was my lack of exercise.  I've started working out regularly for the last two months, so I feel like I'm making good progress in that department.  But, it's not something that's ever going to go away.  I'm going to have to keep doing the exercise, keep making healthy food choices, and keep choosing to be healthy over junky and lazy.  That used to sound like some kind of terrible prison  sentence.  But, the more I practice it, all of it, the easier it gets.  And the more I choose the right path, the more that becomes what I truly want.  The junky stuff is slowly becoming the stuff that I'd rather not eat.  Huh.  I would have never thought that would happen.

I grew up skinny,  thin-like-a-pencil, and ate whatever I wanted.  I was a sugar maniac.  I remember as a teen, some friends of my parents came to visit, and were just amazed at how much junk food I could eat, and 1) not get sick and 2) be so darn skinny.  I just laughed.  Now, almost 25 years later, things are different, and I totally see what they meant!   I ate terribly, because it didn't matter.  

Now, it does matter.  It's taking a lot of practice to change those habits.  Practice, practice, and more practice.  That's all it takes.  Practice Makes Progress.  Not perfection, but progress.  Sometimes it's hard to see how much progress you're really making.  It helps to look back, to write down where you started, to look forward to a goal you've set for yourself.   For me, I set a goal to do that crazy infomercial workout,  P90X with my husband.  90 days.  Insane workouts.  My goal was to just get through it, the best that I could.   I'm about 1/2 way through with it now, and I'm noticeably stronger.

Three weeks ago,  one of the workouts was this crazy shoulder, chest & triceps workout.  Push ups.  90million push ups.  Regular ones, wide ones, one armed ones, ones where you jump up and clap in the middle.  Did I mention I can't --I mean CAN NOT do push ups?  I don't mean I can only do a few, I can't do any.  So this workout was so frustrating.  I tried.  But if you can't do a regular push up, you can't do a one armed push up, now can you?   I stuck with it. I tried.  I practiced.  I failed.  But I didn't give up.  Practiced some more the next week, and the week after that.  Then, yesterday, at my new challenging yoga class (I call it 'Killer Yoga'....it's brutal but fun.) PROGRESS!  I did a full push-up.  A full-on guy-style toes on the floor, legs straight with knees not on the floor, butt not sticking up in the air, correct form push up!  The funny part was, I didn't intentionally try for it... It just kind of happened, and I was stunned! It might have been 'only one' push-up, but it was HUGE progress.  Progress isn't always easy to see.  It really likes to quietly sneak up on you, but only if you keep practicing when you can't see it yet.

That same idea carries over to other areas of life.  Other things that need practicing.  There are other ways I want to see progress, but don't yet.  Catching up and keeping up with paperwork.  Cleaning and organizing.  Spending time in prayer and meditation.  Practice. It's all about the practice.  Keep practicing.  Keep trying.  Little by little those things will add up until suddenly the progress will be visible.

How about you?  Is there an area where you are practicing something? Waiting to see some progress?  Don't give up.  It will happen if you keep working for it!

Set a goal.

Practice.

Practice again.

Practice a little more.

Keep practicing.

Celebrate each little bit of progress as it sneaks up on you.

Keep practicing.

Keep celebrating.

That goal will become reality.

May you be blessed by both the practice and progress!

Summer Plans

"What are your summer plans?"  It seems like I've been asked this daily for the last month.  We really aren't doing anything special out-of-the-ordinary.  Hanging out, swimming, VBS, enjoying each other.  Seems like nothing special, right?  But it is special.  It's oh-so-special.  It's time.  Time to enjoy each other, and count our blessings.

I ran across this poem while cleaning out my "I'm-going-to-end-up-on-that-Hoarders-TV-show" office this morning.  I think I'm going to make it my summer mantra.   Thank you, Lord,  for my two wiggly, sticky, bug-loving blessings.

A Mom's Prayer

Dear Lord, It's such a hectic day,

With little time to stop and pray,

For life's been anything but calm,

Since You called me to be a Mom.

Running errands, matching socks,

Building dreams with matching blocks,

Cooking, cleaning, finding shoes,

And other stuff that children lose,

Fitting lids on bottled bugs,

Wiping tears and giving hugs,

A stack of last week's mail to read, 

So where's the quiet time I need?

Yet, when I steal a moment, Lord,

Just at the sink or ironing board,

To ask the blessings of Your grace,

I see them, in my small one's face,

That You have blessed me

All the while~~

And I stoop to kiss 

That precious smile.

~Author Unknown~

May you be blessed this summer.

Happy & Excited Fights Sad & Sentimental

Today is the last day of school.  Hooray!  I, as much as my oldest, having been counting down to this day for a month at least!  No schedules.  No homework.  No getting up early.  No stopping in the middle of the afternoon for school pickups.  Just summer freedom and time together!  Bliss.

So, you can imagine my surprise when the tears started as I dropped him off for his last day today.   At 3:00, my baby will be a THIRD GRADER!!!  Oh my.  How did that happen?  Wasn't it just yesterday that I was fighting with him to give up his binky?  Or helping him get dressed?  Rocking him to sleep every night in my arms?

I thank GOD that my baby is still a snuggler.  That he still loves his mama and wants me there when he goes to sleep at night.  I am thankful that he's growing up to be a good, smart, kid.  I love that he's excited to do things with me, to show me things.  To share his world with me.   But I know that ALL TOO SOON, that time will end, for awhile at least. He'll be a teenager, too cool for mom who has suddenly become a huge embarrassment and who (in his mind) doesn't know or understand anything.  I am dreading that time.  It will break my heart.  But my time bonding, teaching,  and loving him now will carry me through (with a lot of prayer and help from God, I'm sure!).  And I know that we will come through it, and on the other side be close once more.  And someday, hopefully, I'll hear the words, "Mom, you were right.  I'm sorry for thinking you were such...."  Which reminds me, I need to go apologize and thank my parents again for putting up with my teenage years!

So, today,  I'm sad and sentimental.  But I'm even more happy and excited that I get the chance to spend the summer with my guy, bonding, playing, loving, and growing together.  I'm not going to let a single moment pass by... This is a summer to treasure!

May you be blessed with appreciation 

of all you've been given.  

Hold on to it.

Treasure it.

Don't let it slip away.

How To Feel Defeated

Have you ever had one of those days where you're just rolling along, having a normal, happy day, when suddenly WHAM!  Something slaps ya down and leaves ya feeling completely defeated?  Hopeless.  Crushed.  Beat down.  Does that ever happen to you?  No?  Well, let me give you some quick and easy tips on how to let yourself feel defeated.  It's easy.   (Warning, don't try all of these at once!  Maybe just one or two at a time...  Or, maybe hopefully, none at all! )

How to Feel Defeated:

#1  Don't get enough sleep.  Make sure that you are always just dragging along, barely making it through your day.  This makes it really easy for that feeling of defeat to just sneak up on you and knock you down.  Any little set back will do it.

#2 Don't manage your stress.  Sweep things that bother you under the rug and pretend you're not worrying about them.  Ignore them and let them all pile up on you as long as possible.

#3 Never EVER ask for help.  Don't ever let anyone know that something is bothering you.  They might do something wacky and awesome like help you out, or cheer you up, or my favorite.... PRAY for you!

#4 Keep as much chaos in your life as possible.  Keep a pile of clutter on the table (or counter top) at all times.  Make sure you never have enough laundry clean or put away.  Randomly put your car keys, glasses, or cell phone down in different places, so that you always struggle to find them.  Never, ever, ever file your important papers in any kind of organized fashion.

#5 Spend every waking minute taking care of someone other than yourself.   Put your children, husband, family, friends, neighbors, dog, postal carrier and bank teller first.   If you have time to take care of yourself, you obviously haven't worked hard enough to find someone else who needs your help more!

#6 Keep people at a distance, and avoid keeping a close circle of friends at all costs. Friends will lift you up, not help you to feel defeated.  Keep as far away as you can from anything that even resembles a friendship. 

#7 Talk negatively to yourself in your head all day long.  Tell yourself how horrible you look in that bathing suit.  Remind yourself what a stupid mistake that was that you made yesterday (or last week).  Talk to yourself even worse more harshly than you would talk to your worst enemy.

Okay, as I said in the little warning above, doing none of these things would be best!  Obviously, I don't want you to do any of these awful things to yourself.  This is my tongue in cheek reminder to myself to not let that moment of feeling defeated take over.  I had one of those today, you know.  I know, you're shocked.  You'd never have guessed, right?  It was related to a certain four year old that I'm madly in love with, but who is having certain issues that fall in the TMI category.  So, after, another blankety blank blank accident incident, I just felt completely defeated. And I tweeted it.  (The feeling defeated, not the TMI...)  Within moments, my super awesome, can't wait to meet her in real life, twitter friend tweeted this back to me:

Fear not!  

Whatever it is, I'm sure it's going to get better. 

#prayingforyou

JamieAnne, you have no idea how much better that tweet made me feel!  It made me cry. (I'm tearing up now writing about it.)  How wonderful is it that we can make friends and support each other, across time and space, without having ever met?  Pretty neat, I think.  Thank you!

Just one more note, and then I'll be done, I promise.  About #7, talking badly to yourself?  I read this post earlier today, "You Are Much More Than Your Bathing Suit".   Appropriately, it was right before I headed out to the pool for the first time this season.  Let me tell you, this lady has the right idea, the right attitude.  There is always a positive way to look at something.  It sometimes takes awhile to figure out what that might be, but it's there.  Look for it.  Search for it.  

Don't give up until you figure out what the positive is, and use it to crush the negatives into submission. 

Balance Defined

 I've been looking for balance for a good long while now.  Some days are better than others, of course, but I'm always trying to get closer to finding that balance.  Other people are looking for balance too.  I've even seen some posts on Twitter and other blogs about seeking "anti-balance".  That stopped me in my tracks.  Why on earth, I wondered, would a person want to live an anti-balanced life?

Well, if you know me, you know that just made me defensive about my search for balance, so I went to check more into it. What I found was very thought provoking.  It made me realize that not everyone defines balance in the same way.  Huh.  Never occurred to me that there could be more than one way to view the idea of finding balance in your life.  It made me think more about what exactly I mean when I say I'm on a quest for balance.  

For me, balance is not equal time for every aspect of my life.  It's absolutely not possible.  But what I am seeking, is to combine all the little things and big things together, so that at the end of the day everything is in harmony, everything is balanced.

The picture I have in my head is of a great teeter-totter.  On one side is the person that I believe God wants me to be, and on the other side are all the little things and big things in my life, added together, trying to achieve balance.  Not enough of something let's that side go up and let's God down.  Too much of something else weighs that side down, weighs me down, so that all the blessings God is giving me can't be fully enjoyed.  It's not a quest for equality in all areas, but more like a grand recipe of time & effort that ultimately seeks to equal out and balance with what my life is intended to be.  Five minutes of quick kitchen clean up added to half an hour of bedtime stories and snuggling.  Throw in an hour or two of paperwork, a little menu planning and prepping/cooking dinner, some time to workout and take care of my body, time spent with my husband.  All of those things are interconnected, and touched by one another.  In seeking balance, I am seeking to find a way to mesh them all together to the best result, so that no one thing is getting neglected, and everything is getting not equal time, but the time that it needs and deserves.

Just as all things do not need or deserve equal time, not all days are the same.  Some days the mom part of the equation needs to take the largest share of my time, and the paperwork and cleaning have to wait.  Other days, I'm not needed so much as a mom, and I can give the housework and job the attention they need.  Each day is interconnected with the next... trying to achieve overall balance and live the life God intends me to.

How about you?  How do you look for or define balance in your life?

May you have a blessed, balanced, and thoughtful day!

If you're curious about the anti-balance thing, do a twitter search for the hashtag #antibalance.  And, by the way, I think we're aiming for the same results, but just looking at it differently.

In Memory

To My Dear, Dear Friend,

I wish today could just be a happy day to celebrate my little one's 4th birthday.
I wish it wasn't also the day we lost you eleven years ago.
I wish my heart didn't break at the memory of seeing the grief on R's face.
I wish your beautiful daughter had you to hug and to hold, her necklace with your picture is a poor substitute.
I wish your son had been given the chance to get to know and remember you.
I wish you had been here to go to my wedding, and become my sister-in-love.
I wish it were all a bad dream.
I wish I couldn't remember the song that was playing on the radio as I drove home to find out what had gone horribly wrong.
I wish your mama's heart wasn't forever broken.

I hope, up in heaven, you know how much you are still loved and remembered.
I hope you can see how much fun our boys (they're cousins, isn't that awesome?!!) have together.
I hope you smile, and your heart melts like mine does, when you see how they've become best friends too.
I hope you're proud of the beautiful, kind daughter you have.  She rocks.
I hope you know that I hate not having you here to celebrate milestones ahead of me!
I hope you can see how awesome your kids are, and how well they are doing.
I hope you know how thankful I am that you introduced me to my hubby. 
I hope you know that you are deeply missed.
I hope you are at peace.

 I wish you were here.

All my love,
Shell

The Really Bad, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Okay, well I really wanted to title this
The Really Bad, Horrible, No Good, Almost No Good, Very Bad Day
but I couldn't do the strike through text, so....whatever.


I had another great weekend, but haven't been motivated to blog.  I've been enjoying life too much, which is good. I've been thinking who cares about the blog anyway, whatever.  But things were really great, besides that, and then three nights in a row of very little sleep (for various un-fun reasons) caught up with me yesterday and I crashed hard.  Headache bad enough to make me want to cry all day, asthma making it very hard to catch my breath, and I just couldn't deal.

It wasn't a fun day.  But one bright sunny spot, was a blog I read by a new friend, someone I've yet to meet for real, but she's great.  She did a post of lists of ten, and on her ten websites/blogs I visit list, she had this blog listed.  That really made my day.  And made me want to write something, and pull myself out of the funk I was in, blog-writing wise.  Thanks, JamieAnn!

Now, my day still stunk, but at least my head was in the right place a little bit!  So, as the afternoon hour approached where I needed to go pick my oldest up from school, I searched for a way to stay a little balanced in spite of how badly I felt physically.  I could either:

A) take the boys home, turn them loose with a snack and go lay down (AKA letting them destroy the house while I wasn't looking)
     -OR-
B) take them home and try to get them to do chores and homework (AKA ending up yelling at them to do what I've asked for the 9th time while they fight with each other about why it's not done)
     -OR-
C) Keep them out of the house, and entertained until dinner.

Now, I have to be honest, choice A was by far my first choice, but seeing that I had worked ALL DAY Sunday to get the house picked up and a little bit clean, I just couldn't bring myself to let it get destroyed so soon.  Choice B wasn't really even an option, because my head hurt so much.  I needed to find a way to make choice C work.  I needed to sit quietly somewhere while also keeping them entertained and out of the house until dinner.  Hmmm... how do you do that?  The park? Too bright (and it was getting ready to storm).  Indoor playarea?  Too LOUD.  Ah-HA!  We'll go to a matinee.

We went to see the 4:20 showing of Furry Vengeance.  Perfect timing.  Enough time to get our stuff from Target and head to the theater.  We got there just before the storm hit too, and although we almost got blown away trying to buy tickets, we made it in without getting soaked.

It was a brilliant choice.  While I fully expected it to be a horrible movie, the boys loved it.  Apparently, it was "slap-yourself-in-the-face-with-both-hands-funny" according to my three year old, because that's what he did at the funniest part.  My oldest loved it too, and you'd have thought he had already seen it from the way he could say what was going to happen next (from watching all the good parts on the previews, I think).  I have to admit, it was pretty bad, but I also laughed out loud more than once.  It was so bad it was funny, I guess.  But worth every penny for being able to sit still in a mostly dark room for 90 minutes with two boys who didn't argue or make any messes!  And, when we got out the storm had passed, and we literally walked in the house 5 minutes before daddy, just in time for dinner.  Total Success.

It's called making the best of a bad situation, I guess.   Finding a little balance.  Making lemonade when life gives you lemons.... 

Whatever you want to call it, 

I hope you find a little of it next time you're having 

a rough day too.