An awesome friend and I had lunch together yesterday while out shopping, and we were talking about all the different quirks people have. Talking about how "normal" we are. No, that sounds bad. Really, we were wondering out loud what other people must see as our little quirks. You know, like some people just can't make up their minds, ever. Or someone else who has an easy time making up their mind, but has trouble seeing anything from another point of view. Those kinds of things. It's kind of hard to pick out what your own quirk is, because it is just so much a part of who you are.
Well, I figured mine out today. (Or at least one of mine!) And it might not be so much of a quirk that other people see, because I'm pretty darn aggressive about hiding it.
But, I'm trying to
and that means
this quirk, which means I need to
get over it!
So.... here goes. I let things paralyze me with fear. It might start out little, something I just don't want to do. Then I start to dread doing it. Then I let it pile up so long that I'm embarrassed I haven't done it. Then I start avoiding it. Then I pretend it doesn't exist for awhile. Then the denial bubble pops and I have this huge stress attack over it. To the point where I am completely paralyzed by fear and embarrassment when I could have, should have just sucked it up a long, long time ago and avoided all the secret stress and shame that I've been hiding for years. Yes, years. I can't believe I just said that in writing.
Okay, so there are two things I have let do this in my life. And I've promised myself to stop that. I've been praying (for awhile now) for some strength and courage to face these quirks of mine. These enemies of peace and balance. One of the things I've been slowly working on, but I've been letting factors, outside my control, kind of let me slide back into that denial and procrastination bubble. I'm going to be more aggressive about knocking out this quirk of mine. It's not something internet appropriate, but I will say that it's somewhat "work related".
The other thing, is a personal thing, and I'm just too ashamed to tell you what it is, or how long I've let it slide. BUT, I took the first of many steps today to knock this one out too. I found out some info, admitted my issue, and scheduled a time to get it handled. Wahoo! Actually, I thought I would feel better already, just getting that scheduled time on my calendar, but I'm still feeling pretty paralyzed. I'm guessing that the stress has built up over time enough that it's going to take awhile to fall away also. But I'm working on it.
So, am I alone in this crazy quirk of mine? Have you ever/do you now... let anything paralyze you into fear and inaction? If so, I'd love to know I have some company! Give me a shout in the comments (you don't have to let me know the details...) and let me know if you're fighting the same battles I am. I'd love to support and encourage you.
May you have a blessed
and Fear Free day!